So I said, I like to think of myself as the friend that leaves. Where's that coming from? Well, I was recording the podcast and you know, doing some marketing work by having a conversation. Because we were looking for spots in a podcast that I did about the friends that leaves, you know, we're looking for little cliffhangers and stuff like that. And I randomly said, Hey, I like to think of myself as the friend that leaves. But I don't know, if I'm actually the friend that leaves. I like to think of myself as the one who is exploring different friend groups. That maybe I'm the one that's like moving around that I'm the one that's changing that I'm experiencing the newness. But the truth is, I'm probably the one that's stationary. The one that is less dynamic, that people are growing in different directions away from me. I like to think about it maybe as like a tree, right? Like, I, I would like to be the branches. But I'm probably the trunk I'm probably the, the thing that people grow out of and grow away from. And that doesn't necessarily mean that I'm not growing. It just means that like, maybe people have less use for me. After a while. Maybe I come into people's lives for a moment, or they come into mine. They get what they need. And then they leave. It's kind of depressing when you think about it. But like, I would be the one that is that is that is constantly being taken from but if we stay with this tree analogy, I'm the one that could maintain that. Because they get the nutrients from the trunk i I'm more connected to the root. And so the the nutrients that these branches or these leaves need they get from from me, right? And even that makes me sound arrogant. Like if you really think about it like I'm source, right? Well really I just I feel depressed about it. Because it feels like I'm constantly I'm constantly losing people who have given so much of myself to they're always moving on to something that is perceived to be better. And if I hold them they won't grow. But if I let them go my heartbreaks so much so that I I have a hard time paying attention to the ones who don't you know, the ones who don't leave right the ones who aren't transitional through the seasons I'm more focused on the ones who have left me than the ones who have stayed with me the ones who are so connected to me that they might as well be the trunks the people in my life that I can lean on I'm so hurt and crushed by every time somebody picks some of my fruit and not give back to me that I'm not focused on the people who are a lot who are who are close enough to me to allow that to happen but pour back into me constantly that's a problem working on it which is why maybe I want to be the friend that leaves maybe I want to be the one that experiences coming into somebody's life taking what I need and then leaving and just not really caring what happens to that person after I leave and you know my life would be better off after have meeting that person but not needing to give them anything and I am that person two I have mentors people in my life that like I legit call mainly when I need something that realization just hit me bro. And that does not feel good. Because see, while I while I say I want to be the friend that leaves I know what it feels like to be left. Man, does that feel terrible? I do want to be better. I want to be better for my next group of friends. So I've been doing my soul searching. So figure out what happened with the group of friends prior. Because it's a cycle for me. Anytime you find yourself in a cycle, you want to make sure that you're not doing things that are causing insanity. Maybe it's just the flow of things. I want to be better. I want to be more present in the relationship, not concerning myself constantly when they're going to leave, but enjoying them while they're present. Because ultimately, don't we all leave? Like, this time that we have on Earth is fleeting. So eventually we will all leave. Eventually we will all be that friend that leaves I think the important part is for us to be present. Be present in the relationships, enjoy the time that you have, create the memories and don't worry about when it's all going to end. That is much easier said than done. But I'm going to try it. I hope you will too. Because maybe being the friend that leave leaves isn't so bad. But it is the thing that we are supposed to be doing. So I gotta say about that. I'm out
