So I Said Pod With Dylan Sellers
So I Said Pod With Dylan Sellers
So I Said: Don't sleep with your assignment | S2. Ep.3
Assignment- noun- something or someone God put in your path that you are attracted to and equipped to help.
@soisaidmedia
So I said, don't sleep with your assignment. Um, um, so after our last episode, Kat and her brilliance, our producer, was like, I need some clarity on this assignment thing. Right? And I'm like, cool. So yeah, like I can, I can help with that, you know? Because we get those things confused. Yeah. Because the attraction feels the same. My, my, my sister, and like, for those of y'all who just happened in this is my wife, not my sister. So that were very, very clear. You know, say you see me touching her thigh, you'll say stuff like that. Because like, I like touching her. You know what I mean? Like, it's important for people to know that, like, what the relationship is, you know, we're gonna put a pin in that come back to it. All right, cool. Cool. Cool. So my sister once told me that, like, love is universal, the same kind of love that I have for you. I also have for spouse, right? Love is a thing, right? Like, there are different representations of it, right? But it comes from the same place, which is why it can be confusing, right? And so like, you can be very attracted to an assignment. And think that it's supposed to be romantic. Right? Okay. So the reason that that could be confusing, is because you don't know what an assignment is. Yes. Right. An assignment is a churchy word. Yeah, it is. Assignment is somebody or something that you're supposed to take care of? Okay, that that has been put in your path. Right? For my folk who are who are not necessarily like churches, they talk about paths. I'm saying it's they bag. So it was put,
Sharmayne Sellers:so church people say season? Yeah, and then other folks a path, same thing, the same thing. Okay, Sam, I
Dylan Sellers:guess, you know, my season, my path. It's still the same stuff. We're preaching because, you know, I'm preacher anyway. Amen. So it's a person or thing that's put in your path that God has seen fit that you're equipped to help with? Right? It's a, it's a thing that you're discovering, we're a relationship that you are discovering, that will help you and that individual grow in their relationship with God. Okay. Right. And so like, you're attracted to it, because there's an urgency to it. Okay. Right. It's not something that is like, it's not something that's fleeting. Right? And so the, the attraction becomes, like necessary to guide you to it, because in any other situation, you might miss it. Got it. So the example that I gave last time about, like, being attracted to this, this white woman in particular, right? I believe that, like, God had to use attraction for that. Because had he had, he just left me to my own devices, she's not a person that I would have talked to. She's not a person that I would have engaged with, or I would have gone into any real depth in conversation with. Right. And so there had to be something that would pull me to. And I believe that that spirit, right? The reason that like I'm equating this, you know, it's more of a, I'm working out, like theological concepts, right? Is because God describes God's self as love. Yes. And so if God is attracting you, to an individual, God is going to use God's self to do it. And it'll feel like love. Because you are supposed to share love with that person, you are supposed to be intimate with that person. But if you're not engaged or understand or like, open to the idea, that that intimacy can be something other than sex, you'll think that like, Oh, this is a relationship that I need to have. Because God wants me to like, this is my person, this person. And it's confusing me wrong, right? Because the the question that you should ask next is, well, then how do I know the difference between an assignment and like a partner?
Sharmayne Sellers:I'm glad you asked. Go ahead. Yeah. I got you.
Dylan Sellers:Right. I appreciate that. Right. And I think that that comes with time, and discernment. Which is why all of this is so dependent on your relationship with God. Because Spirit is going to help you Understand, right? What's an assignment? And who is your one? Okay. So a lot of people end up in relationships with people who are their assignments, and then they get mad when those relationships end. And typically what happens is right, and you see this all the time, you'll be in a relationship with a person. And typically this happens with the sometimes it happens with the opposite sex, a woman will be in a relationship with this guy. They go through ups and downs, trials and tribulations because like they engaged in a way that they probably shouldn't have. Right? The relationship ends, and the very next person he meets he marries.
Sharmayne Sellers:I have seen that. Right? I'm definitely saying that.
Dylan Sellers:What if you were just supposed to be his friend from Jump Street? What if there was a reciprocity, some some situations that were supposed to happen, that you were supposed to walk with Him through some dark things, he was supposed to walk with you through some thoughts, things, they were supposed to walk together through some stuff, because God saw fit that like, your temperament, and your trauma matched, he is matched hers, right? You can come you have some things in common that won't come together, and that both of you will need for that next level. But if you think that because like our traumas match, I'm attracted to you, and we're gonna have sex now you're engaged in a relationship that makes the breakup or the parting of ways, not just a sad event, but a devastating one. Not just a breakup, but a divorce?
Sharmayne Sellers:Yeah, it's a trauma bond. Yeah, you're bonded over trauma. But when you start doing the work of healing, not to have anything in common anymore.
Dylan Sellers:Exactly. Right. And so like, now he he's healed, or you're healed, and the very next person you're, you meet is the one, right? And then you're all confused, because this is the other thing that happened. Typically, those guys who go on
Sharmayne Sellers:anything serious relationship,
Dylan Sellers:they go on and marry the next woman, right? He'd be trying to spin the block. Right? So like, you're not invited to the wedding. Because you could have been if y'all had just remained friends. But because you're always in deep relationship, you're not invited to the wedding. And his emotions is all confused, because like, everything that he is now he attributes to you. But y'all can't be together. So he married this other person. Now he's trying to spend a block come back to you. And now he all confused and you all confused because he should have just left you alone in the first place. Your assignment?
Sharmayne Sellers:Right, so if I'm, if I'm understanding correctly, you, it can be difficult to know the difference between assignment and your significant other initially, right. But over time, you spend more time with that person without engaging in, you know, physical intimacy, you can develop, you know, emotional, mental, verbal intimacy, like spending time with the person to build emotional closeness without sex, continuing to pray, hearing from God, and eventually it should be revealed.
Dylan Sellers:Yeah. Okay. And then it's not devastating. Yeah. Then you had a relationship with your brother, your sister in Christ, you all got better together and ready for the next thing, and it's not devastating. There are relationships that you you could like that you could lean on for the rest of your life that were platonic, but necessary. Yeah. Right. My relationship with Leslie
Sharmayne Sellers:Yeah, that was the first person I thought, yeah.
Dylan Sellers:Leslie is necessary for who I am going forward. Right? Your relationship with Taurus. Yep. You know what I'm saying, like, there, there's a relationship in a, an understanding that like he has about you, that I don't get, right. And that should be okay. But if every time somebody understands you, you sleep with them. Now, I can't trust that. Now, I can't trust that you can't, that you can have a conversation with someone else. You know, saying like, you can reveal parts of yourself to that person. If, if I'm like, if every time that happens, and you feel closeness you feel validated.
Sharmayne Sellers:So So I'm wondering if this is the reason why, you know, men and women are so hesitant to have friendships or when people say like, oh, you can't have you can't actually have a genuine friend and somebody who's the opposite sex. No All together that it is possible for that to happen. But it doesn't have to have that doesn't have to be the case,
Dylan Sellers:right? It is, it is possible for y'all to be friends. It is possible to be able to like, benefit from those relationships. And you know, people say like, Well, the Bible says, like, doesn't have any example of friendships between men and women. Not true. What was Jesus and Mary? If they weren't friends, to Shay, not as mother, but like Mary Magdalene? If they weren't friends, what were they? Right? What was Mary? What was Jesus and Martha? What was Paul and Lydia? Oh, if they weren't friends, you see them saying? So, all of these things, those things are examples of what it could look like. And like, Jesus was real big on his female friends. Like, let's be real, He reveals Himself to His female friends before he does his male friends. When when he is resurrected, the people that he he reveals himself to is Mary, Martha. Like, Hey, these are these are mine, like, because he was talking to all of his disciples when he says that you, you are no longer my servants. But I call you friend.
Sharmayne Sellers:And I just couldn't even wrap their mind around. Yeah.
Dylan Sellers:And so was was Mary and Martha and not one of Jesus's disciples. Do you do not count them?
Sharmayne Sellers:Oh, absolutely. I do. So like,
Dylan Sellers:it's possible. And dare I say necessary for us to be a whole community to have good, solid, necessary friendships. And that's where you find those. Right? Like you find those in those platonic, you know what I'm saying like interactions, you find those in your assignment. For sure, it prepares you for the marriage that you're gonna get into. If that's if that's what God has for you, it prepares you in business. If you're going to start a business, you're gonna need some friends. And all of them can't be the same sex. I mean, they can be like why do they have to be you know. So I hope that was clear. I know I ranted on a little bit there. I let you get in a word edgewise. For real? Cool,
Sharmayne Sellers:you felt very strongly about this one?
Dylan Sellers:I do. I feel very strongly about it. Because I've experienced it. I feel very strongly about it. Because I've screwed it up.
Sharmayne Sellers:I do. I do feel strongly about it. I don't know if it's to the degree that that you do, but I've definitely been on the other side of it. And, and that did not feel great. Tell me about it. Um So fun fact, you know, we talked about having having friendships, and the guy had me convinced that God said that this is we're supposed to be together, and all of that. And then shortly thereafter. Then there was like, well, there's I don't think this this is our season. There's that word again. It's gonna be our season. But at this point, you've been to my house we've been all day she went my mom. So like, Huh? So what is maybe you should have been a little bit more clear on that. Yeah, with the Lord, before you reveal false prophecy. I think that like what you're describing is like, using God as your shield to do some Oh, like, sinful stuff, because I do I do believe that is spiritual manipulation, if you will, that part. I do believe that it was an assignment to the degree that we are supposed to love one another as as we love ourselves and as God loves us. And so there was there was some mismanaging mishandled handling of set assignment.
Dylan Sellers:Yeah, no, that's real. I think I know where you talk, who you talking about to remember that time? I like aint him.
Sharmayne Sellers:I know. We're aware.
Dylan Sellers:Yeah. And I ain't gonna go into detail right because it it can get real revealed, right? But I like him and I probably still don't like him.
Sharmayne Sellers:He might forget
Dylan Sellers:the love of Christ. But he shouldn't get me stay over over work yet. And you remember me? Because like, breath but like spiritual manipulation is a thing. You know, you start using God's name, especially in those spaces and like you're taking advantage of those situations. Right, because you have some spiritual authority or the authority that people in those spaces of giving you one I got I got things about that. But, alas, we have reached the end of yet another one. Love it. You just keep on coming back then all right because I like it I ain't gonna lie to you it makes me feel all cozy smile is everything. I love it. Okay. All right. This is so I said, and we just did. I ain't got nothing else. I was lost in the smile. Yep. I mean it's fine and we out