So I Said... Plants, Tea, and Object Permanence | S2. Ep.8

So I Said Pod is back with a hilarious and candid episode featuring guest Alyissa Sagoes. Join Dylan Sellers as he breaks his podcast hiatus, revealing his plant-killing tendencies and forgetfulness. Discover Alyissa's Earth Scale Wellness, a herbal brand that kicks mucus out of your system 'like kicking with a hard shoe. Prepare for laughter, introspection, and a genuine conversation between friends. Don't miss this witty and relatable episode!

Transcript

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Dylan Sellers: 0:00

So I said, I got a guest today. And she's super dope. I'm very excited to be talking to you. And I'm gonna let her introduce herself. But like, you know, it's been a minute since I've ever front of a mic. You know what I mean? Like? Yeah, probably the last time that I was in front of a mic. For my own podcast was the recordings that we did I think Kat's house for with me and Sharmayne, which are episodes that like will lead off my season two. But I did those last year. This is the first time I'm recording and 2023 It's March.

Alyissa Sagoes: 0:41

This is March 2023.

Dylan Sellers: 0:42

It is March. It's a it's an old march two. It's like 18. Like, it's crazy. It's

Alyissa Sagoes: 0:47

the end. Don't say, oh, it's the end. It's nearing the end of its life. But I appreciate that. I am the one that can bring you out of what is

Dylan Sellers: 0:56

the hiatus? Yes. A bit of a hiatus? It's a bit of a hiatus. I think that like, well, first, introduce yourself to the people let them know who you are what you do that kind of stuff.

Alyissa Sagoes: 1:08

Yes. So my name is Alyissa. Um, I am in the nonprofit sector. So currently in school to get my nonprofit administration degree super excited about that I'm ready to be done. So there's that. Um, I also own a business Earth scale wellness. So we turn up on Earth scales. Well,

Dylan Sellers: 1:32

we got that we got the we got the earth around us. Yeah. See, this is this is new. I don't really be doing a whole lot of like the green stuff like your Kat has been trying to get plants in our podcast for ever. All right. So

Alyissa Sagoes: 1:45

where are you? Where are you? From? That I'm Wait a minute. See? Okay, because so my friend not

Dylan Sellers: 1:47

anti plant. I just okay. Seems like it. Funny story, right? We Sharmayne has a friend. Really good friend. She's my friend now to shout out to the homie she she takes care of plants. She loves plants. And as as an act of friendship. I'm assuming she brought Sharmayne a piece of one of her plants. Yes, like small replotted. And she was like, very excited to share this with us. This made me upset. Why? Because it's like, it's like dropping off a kid that I didn't ask for. What this did the same thing. Her name is Barbara shots. She propagated I teaches you that? No, I don't ask for the lesson though. No, but, like, dropped off a responsibility to me. And we didn't even discuss it. And that's a little crazy. It's crazy. Like it like I love her. But it was just like so like now when this plant dies, does that mean our relationship is over? Get an upset like because this plant is gonna die? Like it's gonna happen. Why does that have to be its fate, bro, I got ADHD like I'm, I'm I'm struggling most days to stay focused on making sure that like Sharmayne has what she needs. And I have what I need. You don't I'm saying like I forget that the think that's how you plant exists if I can see it. say it propagated. Yes. A sounds worse.

Unknown: 3:21

No, but it's not. So she propagated a plant for me. And it's a succulent. I love succulents. I have a few and I love them.

Dylan Sellers: 3:29

These are the ones that is like really hard to kill. Right.

Alyissa Sagoes: 3:32

Are you good at killing them? Is the question. Yeah,

Dylan Sellers: 3:35

I'm actually because I've had a couple. Yeah. Somebody sent me a succulent. I don't I feel like there's a lot of judgment right now. And like, I'm trying to just share my life. I'm just trying to share my life with you. Yeah. So as a work anniversary present. Someone sent me a succulent, right. Cute. It is. It was very nice looking. But I forgot it was in the box. So I didn't like fully unpacked the entire box. And I saw that there was a succulent in there. And I was like, Oh, that's cool. And I closed the box. And because I closed the box, I forgot it was in there a couple months months. I go back to the box, the succulents dead. And I realized that it is very difficult to kill a succulent,

Alyissa Sagoes: 4:24

gotta water like once a week. That's

Dylan Sellers: 4:26

it. It was it was dead. Like,

Alyissa Sagoes: 4:30

so. What has me you saw it in the box. You said cool, beans closed, never returned

Dylan Sellers: 4:40

and never. So again, I am realizing that I have a problem. Like if, if I can't see it, it doesn't exist, like in a lot of real ways, you know? So I was

Unknown: 4:50

actually doing some research on that. I think it's called object permanence or impermanence. Yeah, along those lines in basically, it's just that. So if Dylan is not in my face, I'm not gonna say I don't care about him or, you know, I'm saying, but until he hits me back up again, no, exit to my

Dylan Sellers: 5:15

And so like this, this is a this is a feature of mind. the relationship with me and Sharmayne that like I enjoy so much because we both have like, ADHD light, I like to call light. It's like, you know, I'm saying sugar free. Sugar free is diet, you know, say like it it exists, but like, not really, you know what I mean? Like that kind of thing. But like, so when I go out of town, like we don't talk to each other,

Alyissa Sagoes: 5:42

you know, at all, but literally, and it's no disrespect,

Dylan Sellers: 5:47

no disrespect. Nobody is upset about it. Like, if you don't hear from me for a few days, I forgot you existed, because there was a lot that was going on. I mean, actually a thing though, and it's it is great. When we come back together, it's like, Oh, I love you so much. And it's great, but like, Yeah, you don't really exist.

Alyissa Sagoes: 6:04

I think that's cool, though, that you guys have that understanding, because some people really do get very offended by it. Like I've heard from you in like, three weeks. I'm like, yo, like, I don't even know where my slippers are

Dylan Sellers: 6:17

like, I need you to. I need you to Chill bro. I really need you to chill. Could you tell me a little bit more about Earth Scale because we got off on a tangent. I completely got in there was like

Unknown: 6:28

no point case in point. Yes. So Earth scale wellness is an herbal wellness brand. And we specialize in creating herbal blends to help support the body naturally. So my most popular blend is the smokers blend. So that is an all encompassing lung support team. So basically, it's filled with a bunch of expectorants, which are herbs that serve to kick all the mucus out of your system, like kicking. Wow. Like, with a hard shoe.

Dylan Sellers: 7:02

And so, so Okay, so let me tell you how embarrassed I am in this in this current moment. So like, I need to hide my face. Yeah, very embarrassed. Because for the last like two, maybe like maybe three showcases that Sharmayne has had their shout out to mayne attraction dance, shout out to Sharmayne. The boss lady love her awesome lady. So you have been a vendor there

Alyissa Sagoes: 7:29

I have and you've come over to my table. So don't say what?

Dylan Sellers: 7:33

I've come to the table. Right? Had no idea what you actually did. No joke. That's so here's, I knew that there was like, something that like, you're cool. We talk, but like you didn't even like down. Down, bro. Like, I knew the name of the company like and I knew that, you know, people flocked to your table and like bought stuff in droves. I'm like, she must be doing very well. But it never dawned on me to like, come over and say, Hey, man, what are you selling? I love tea. You know, I mean, it's, it's kind of a thing for me. And I never even embarrassing.

Unknown: 8:10

No, it's not. No, no, I so I literally do the same exact thing. Like it'll be right in front of my face. And for some reason, like, my brain doesn't tell me to focus on everything else you got going on. When I'm talking to you. I'm like how you do and you're like, I got this going on this, this and this. And for some reason, just doesn't retain it like you don't stick. Right. So then later, I'm like, what is that again? Like, I've done that to Kat so many times? Where she's like, Oh, this morning, I'm like, Cool. Wait.

Dylan Sellers: 8:39

She's gonna be telling you a whole story, like a life story. And like, I'm with you in the moment. Yeah. This is why I'm very good at keeping secrets. Yeah, I'm amazing at keeping secrets. I forget. Like, and he's like, you know, I was, I was really telling him struggling with this thing. And you tell me like your life secret. And like, I'm in it with you. I really am. And it's not like a joke. But then like, you come back and like you try to remind me of a thing. And I have to like, really struggle to kind of remember what you're talking about. Because in my mind, when you told me you meant for me never to speak of this again to anyone else. Really? You don't I'm saying so like, I take not speaking to anyone else to include me. And so like, I forget it. I'm saying like, it's not the thing that I I retain, you don't want me talking about it would be because if I'm talking about it with me, I'm an outward processor. So I'll end up talking to someone else about it, because I'm thinking about it.

Unknown: 9:42

I can appreciate that. You know that about your process. I think I'm a great secret keeper because like, I'll hear something that you said, and I'll put it in this special compartment in my brain. So here's all there's this file cabinet of things I've accumulated about Dylan you But in this file cabinet, this is not to be opened by anyone except he and I, and he's not. Or no one is meant to open it but him. So I'm not going to bring your secret up until you mentioned it in conversation, but it's never gonna be like a told me that one time, right

Dylan Sellers: 10:16

like that it slips out in front of a group of people. So disrespect oh my gosh, never speak to them again. Terrible never. It's kind of an occupational hazard as well like because like, I'm a pastor. So like, people expect for me to like, hold their life, you know what I'm saying? So, okay, go ahead. No, no, cook.

Unknown: 10:37

Okay. Can you touch on that a little bit more, because I feel like people find safety in people like you, people with your occupation. And so they often substitute that for actual therapy. And they don't want to like I'd say they trauma dump. And that's not fair to you either. But that takes a little bit of self awareness and like, yeah, awesome self restraint to be able to catch yourself in doing that. So how do you navigate that? Because I assume again, you just said once they leave your site, leave your mind? Yeah, it's not.

Dylan Sellers: 11:15

I mean, I think that that's probably like, that's a bit of hyperbole. Right. When I say it leaves them on, it's not something that I I think about, right, I think I do have like everyone else triggers. Does that make sense? So like, I would, I would say that, like, you should not be doing the occupation that I'm doing without a therapist. Right? Yeah, right. But the people that we, that we serve, sometimes can't afford therapy, right? Or it's not accessible or readily accessible. And so there has to be, and then therapy is different than what I do, because I'm going to come to you from a spiritual perspective, right, I'm going to come to you in a way where like, I'm praying for you. So like, my therapist told me about taught me about my scope of ability. And so once something gets outside of my scope, I recommend to a person who I think would be helpful. And so like, if you and I are talking, and I'm hearing things that are concerning that I know that like I don't really have the ability to help with, I recommend a therapist, but I never recommend a therapist, unless I can support you in finding one. Right? Because I know how difficult that is. That process is right? Yeah. So I'm going to give you resources and things like that. Yeah. But I think that like trauma dumping is good for the soul. And right, so the Scripture tells us that we are to share in each other's burdens. Right? And so like it is, it's part of what it means to be a believer to like, share in that, you know, with a person and for you to mourn and grieve and like community. Yeah. But it's important that I have somewhere to go in order to get rid of it. So right, like there are people who have been in my occupation, who didn't have a therapist, right? Or wasn't like talking to anybody about it regularly. And like, yeah, there's a there's a high there's a high suicide rate amongst pastors as a high. I didn't know that. Yeah, alcoholism is huge, right. Like when you're seeing when you're seeing pastors fall, right, when they're making decisions that are like he cheated on his wife or she cheated on her husband or you gonna mean there was some like impropriety that happen? Typically, that's an outpouring of undealt with trauma from probably not them, but what's been dumped on them and the pressure it is to hold it, right. And I'm not suggesting that like, it's okay that they're doing these things, but I'm saying where it's coming from, so that you sound like so folk understand. So like, that's how I deal with it. Like my I think, my therapists, obviously, my, my wife is a counselor, my, the bishop who covers me, Bishop Paramore, by trade is a counselor like, and so they take mental health very, very seriously. That's very, so I'm, I'm insulated in that way that like, if I'm off, or if there's been something too much, like even our church, we value it and so like, it's like, Alright, it's time for Dylan to take a break. Yeah, right. You know, it's a beautiful setup,

Alyissa Sagoes: 14:58

I think to the position you Take when you do speak to others, like we spoke about this yesterday.

Dylan Sellers: 15:07

They rally together, whatever. Yeah,

Alyissa Sagoes: 15:09

what are you saying? If, and you had said that you are not to be anyone's Father, I'll be your big brother. And I feel like that alleviates a lot of pressure to say the right thing as well. Like, you're not putting yourself in a position to be the All Knowing. Yeah. And so I feel like that makes it easier on a other people to come to you. And Brother, you know, I'm saying like, if you take yourself out of the authoritarian machine, and also for you, because there's no pressure for you again, to be the professional. Yeah, you know,

Dylan Sellers: 15:46

like it is, as in the role of like, big brother. I think that like, there is a there's a responsibility to know more, but not to know all you know what I mean? Yeah. And so like, and we can get into this at another time, but like, There's a scripture talks about, like, spiritual parents and stuff like that, like, Paul discusses, like, father figures and things like that. And being someone's father figure. I tend to agree more with Jesus and being my like, older brother, like we're brothers and sisters in Christ and that kind of thing. So I guess the final thing that I would say to that, when it comes to like, being a brother, in the faith is that like, it also puts me in a position where I get to make mistakes. Yeah, you know what I'm saying? where I get to, like, live life with you, you know what I'm saying? And like, we can be friends. Because like, you're never really truly friends with your parents. You know what I'm saying? Like, they have their own friends. But like, with your your siblings, at some point, you wake up and like, they're okay. You're an upstanding man. Yeah. Oh, you know, you have some shared experiences together and like you trust that person. And like, that's my goal. When I'm when I'm pastor, and you have any thoughts about that? last final few thoughts?

Alyissa Sagoes: 17:19

I think you do a very good job with it. Oh, yeah.

Dylan Sellers: 17:22

Oh, you know,

Alyissa Sagoes: 17:24

yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I appreciate that. Yeah. And I know that anything you say it's always from a place of love or at least concern and if you can't extend that you just won't show up?

Dylan Sellers: 17:39

Yeah. I appreciate that. Yeah, I appreciate that. That's like a roller coaster. It's this is this is back in there. So I think that like, I appreciate that. That's all I have to say about that. Yeah. And I'm think we're gonna we're gonna come back with another one. All right. Yeah.